Why does my child destroy things? How do I get rid of aggressive behavior?

Some parents complain that their children deliberately cause harm and damage in various parts of the house, whether it is breaking toys, tearing up stories, or even vandalizing private and public property.

This behavior is normal in the early stages of a child’s development, but if it gets out of control and turns into a desire for destruction, it may be an indicator of a problem that requires parents’ intervention and sometimes even the help of specialists.

Destructive behavior can appear in various forms, including aggression, tantrums, defiance, and intentional damage to property.

Psychological and educational consultant Dr. Rula Abu Bakr told Al Jazeera Net, "Treating destructive behavior in children is a complex and multifaceted task that requires a deep understanding of the underlying causes and effective intervention strategies."

Distinguishing between normal and disturbing

Rowley emphasizes that identifying the reasons behind the desire to destroy is necessary for effective intervention, “and this behavior can often be attributed to a group of factors,” most notably:

-Curiosity during some developmental stages

-Emotional distress

-Communication difficulties

-Psychological trauma

-Environmental stressors

-Occasional outbursts and some destructive actions may be considered a normal part of a child's development, but persistent and escalating behavior may indicate deeper underlying problems that require attention. "It is essential that parents tune in to their children's feelings and take into account the context in which the behavior occurs."

“Distinguishing between normal behavior and disturbing behavior is key for parents in determining when intervention is necessary, while a certain degree of destructive behavior can be expected during certain stages of development, such as childhood and adolescence,” says the psychological consultant.

She added, "At some stages, the child wants to express his independence without being able to express it well. This behavior may be the result of a need for attention, or an unsatisfied psychological need for love, sympathy, and appreciation, in addition to curiosity and the desire to learn about things, which may push him to... "to tampering and sabotage."

The psychological and educational consultant stresses the need for parents to be careful of signs that indicate that behavior has become excessive or harmful, “from persistent aggression, frequent outbursts, deliberate destruction of property, and harm to oneself or others. Consulting a pediatrician or therapist can help determine the reasons.” .

Treating destructive behavior

The educational consultant points out that treating destructive behavior depends on assessing the severity of the behavior and determining the appropriate steps for intervention, as “it requires a comprehensive approach that takes into account the child’s age, emotional, developmental and environmental factors, by understanding the reasons behind this behavior, and distinguishing between what is normal and what is normal.” "It is worrying, and seek professional help when necessary. Parents can manage and treat their children's destructive tendencies effectively."

It also stresses the need for “parents to remain calm, set clear boundaries around what is acceptable and unacceptable, and talk to the child or spend some time with him to teach him how to manage his feelings in a healthy way. We must not overlook the importance of routine for the child. It is good to keep our children busy doing "We should do something constructive and fruitful, and not give in to all their demands. It is easy for the pampered to turn into destroyers, so the child must be taught discipline."

She concludes, "We must also encourage and reinforce good behavior in the child, show him love, and give him options instead of forcing him to do something."

Disruptive behavior and the age of the child

For her part, educational consultant Rania Al-Tabbaa told Al Jazeera Net, "The child's cognitive concepts develop with growth and training, and he handles tools in the correct manner, without breaking, sabotaging, or causing any harm to those around him."

She adds, "If positive property behavior is not formed and he does not protect his property and others, the causes of disruptive or destructive behavior must be looked for, the form of which varies according to the age of the child and how adults interacted from the beginning of its appearance."

Factors of disruptive behavior in children

Rania Al-Tabbaa points out that there are factors that affect the formation of destructive behavior in children, including:

Physical, mental and psychological integrity . His lack of integrity leads to his inability to perceive things appropriately or interact with the surroundings in a proper manner.

Knowing the correct way to use tools, by teaching the child directly or indirectly.

Training on mechanisms for dealing with negative emotions, such as: anger , jealousy, and revenge in a positive manner.

Adults' interaction with the child's behavior, along with their reactions towards him.

She continues, "Therefore, parents must care for the child from his early years by educating and training him and making sure that they are role models for their children. They must notice any change that occurs, such as the emergence of negative behaviors such as breaking and vandalism. Then, they must first pay attention to the factors we talked about previously and develop a treatment plan."

Tips to help parents

The Easy Days website published some tips to help parents deal with a child’s destructive behavior in a calm manner, including:

Set clear boundaries: Let your child know what unacceptable behavior is and what consequences will follow if he or she engages in destructive behavior.

Providing positive attention: Make sure your child gets enough positive attention from you, so he doesn't feel the need to engage in destructive behavior to get your attention.

Teach coping skills: Help your child learn healthy ways to deal with his feelings, such as deep breathing or talking about his feelings.

Redirect behavior: If you notice that your child is starting to engage in destructive behavior, try directing his attention to a beneficial activity.