Daily Mail : How to become a "good communicator" in 10 seconds?

A Harvard graduate has revealed a trick that helps anyone "connect specially" with new people, friends or lifelong partners.

Expert Charles Duhigg said that a short moment (10 seconds) should be allocated to come up with 3 topics or ideas for conversation before socializing, which may limit the opportunity for awkward silence and also enhance confidence while interacting with others.

This trick can help you move beyond superficial conversations and establish a more meaningful and attractive relationship with your life partner over time.

Duhigg also talked about other tips that include understanding what the person needs from the conversation and paying attention to his non-verbal signals.

He warned against relying too much on questions, which may be embarrassing or sometimes unanswerable.

Duhigg said you can start with simple questions like: “What college do you attend?” “What was it like growing up in a small town” or “What do you do for a living?”

Charles studied different types of linguistic cues over three years and found that people can miss out on the opportunity to build a good relationship by not knowing how to start a conversation.

“We believe that the goal of a conversation, the definition of success, is to convince the other person of something,” Duhigg said. “The real goal of a conversation is simply to understand the other person.” But it is not enough to simply ask the question; you also have to prove that you are listening to what the other side of the conversation is saying.

Super communicators often use a strategy known as “repetition to understand,” which means they paraphrase a person's answer to a question to make sure they understand what they are saying.

Social imitation is one of the most powerful characteristics of human interactions, showing that you are engaged in conversation by imitating behaviors without being aware of your actions.

A study published by the National Library of Medicine found that imitation explains how we perceive and interact with people on a basic level.

“Numerous experiments have shown that when we agree with someone through conversation, we feel good, in part because our brains crave these types of connections,” Duhigg said. “It's no secret that the world is becoming increasingly polarized, and that we are struggling to be heard.” "And we listen. If we know how to sit together and listen, even if we can't resolve all the differences, we can find ways to coexist and thrive."